Run, run, run.

We are all worth more than inconsistencies. After several days of poof-ing my heart says run. I’m worth a goodnight or I can’t talk tonight. It’s always I’m sorry x, y, or z took place. It starts to become a pattern. I try to look past it. The past says it’s the other person wrapped up in another person who’s more valuable. In reality he owes me nothing I am only a person he’s known several weeks. Despite joking and discussing about futures together.

Then…. He sends me that he’s got to go. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He’s got to go back to this imaginary place where he was before. I say imaginary. I mean, California is a real place but I’m not there. I can’t have access to this wonderful man that has opened my heart and hopes to find love. This man who’s shown me protection from afar. He’s shown me compassion and friendship. I am so incredibly crushed by his words that I have overwhelming dread to continue without him. The strangest part is I’ve never seen him in person.

I’ve let my guard down. I never was allowing anyone to make me feel attached. I didn’t want to hurt again.