Trust.

The following morning I have no intention of being drawn into conversations. We chat. I have been driving several hours to work since being blessed with an opportunity of a lifetime. He offers to continue my Audible live subscription as we have lovingly started to calling it. Life happened. He got calls and other things he needed to take. I get calls I needed to take. We just got busy. The texting continued. I can’t dare tell this man my thoughts about everything, what I am doing. He would be freaked out if I told him I felt compelled to document this.

Is it betraying is trust but wiring all this down for the world to see? I don’t know. I’m to a point I will no longer allow for the options of others to impact my future. My soul needs to put all of these things down and share them. One person or a thousand or a million reading this, maybe one person will see something they need. Maybe it’s just for me to be able to finally vent all the insanity that’s brought me to a place of nothing to lose.

There was an interesting social media reel that I needed to see. a man was talking about people and conversations dying after a few days because the excitement is gone. He contributed that most people are seeking excitement not a relationship. I have sat with that for several days and I am guilty of that in several past relationships. They did not last long. I do think that the excitement in a relationship has to be created and it takes more and more as you grow together unless you chose not to then you grow apart.

I still have several people texting me as this man, and I are growing. I don’t want to put all my figurative eggs on one basket. But I’m saying that this basket seems too good to be true. To the point. My mind starts to wonder. Did he really write that? I go to google with several of the phrases I remember from the night prior and see how many books are like his. There’s a lot of PTSD books. I will wait until the next chapter to find out if he in fact wrote what he shared.